You know that I'm writing a book on kindness. So did this person. I keep saying that it makes no difference that I tell people I may be including the story of my interaction with them in my book and blog, at least half of them still act with cruelty. Here's what happened.

Several days ago, on my Facebook page I read a comment made by one of my friends on the Facebook page of this woman. I'll call her Tina (not her real name.) Tina had written a long rant about the assistant she fired and listed many of the ways this assistant had caused her damage and financial loss. I was affected by this because I had applied for that very position and was rejected. I had offered because I wanted to make my time here in Erie productive and help someone in need. With my degree and my experience as a caregiver and home economist I was certainly qualified. But Tina considered me undesirable because she is allergic to cats and I have a cat. Fair enough, I wouldn't want anyone to suffer allergic reaction because of my presence.

So, 6 months later, I sent Tina a private message to her Facebook account sympathizing with her plight with her assistant. I cared that she was taken advantage of. She didn't deserve the bad treatment she received. At the same time I sent her a Friend Request. Keep in mind, I've met Tina. She has come to my home. We have communicated through email multiple times. We have a good friend in common who would vouch for me as a good person if I asked her to.

She replied saying that she could not be friends with me because she writes very personal things on her Facebook page that is meant only for her family members and close friends. I replied to Tina - stupid me - of our previous connections, thinking maybe she was mistaking me for someone else. But she again told me I wasn't someone she wanted to be friends with.

Tina didn't have to spell it out. All she had to do was click on "Ignore Friend Request" and I would not have been the wiser. So either Tina is ignorant of the fact she can simply ignore Friend Requests or she chooses to be hurtful. And that was the end result. I've had an incredible amount of rejection over the past 13 years and it still stings every time.

The crazy thing is: when our mutual friend comments on Tina's status it appears on MY Facebook page which allows me to click though to Tina's Facebook page anyway. So it's impossible for her to keep all her private stuff private from me and others she doesn't want to know. So her rejection of me didn't protect her anyway.

So, what did I learn from this? That people often are short-sighted. They are aware only of the here-and-now and not the future. She likely sees me as an impoverished, uneducated, minimum wage earner.... because I offered assist her when she said she needed help. Therefore she sees me as not being "good enough" to be her new friend, in real life, not just on Facebook. She doesn't see me as the celebrated author-speaker who was once welcomed to this city by the mayor (Tullio), attended prestigious Oxford University, and was a paid guest expert on relationships on multiple national television shows. (If I was once, I can be again.)

Two rejections from one person is enough for me. I won't bother to offer my assistance or friendship to someone who can't recognize that I'm a kind, helpful, interesting and intelligent person. And now, I realize she doesn't have the compassion, consideration and kindness that I look for in a friend.


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I've decided that what I deserve is...

A quiet, clean, cool, lovely, spacious, shade-treed, low cost place to live where I can think, write, brainstorm solutions, and earn income doing what I do best. A place that has a nice private bathroom with a big shower, a place where I can cook and keep healthy food, and where I can sit outside and enjoy the good weather.

A syndicated newspaper advice column in which I help people increase their incomes with advice and creative ideas; paid or sponsored.

A syndicated talk radio show in which I help people increase their incomes; paid or sponsored.

One to 1,990 more early buyers of my book, The Kindness Experiment.

I'm open to allowing and receiving these.



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The following is one of the services I provide to individuals as a Personal Advocate, but this was for my 90-year-old father, yesterday.

Dad showed me that he had gone to his bank (one of two that have treated me like crap) with a check from his brokerage account to deposit to his checking account to pay some bills. The bank sent it back - actually only a facsimile now, not the real one - because it was unsigned. I thought about it and asked: "Did you go into the bank and hand it to the teller?" Yes. "And she/he accepted it without a word about it not being signed at the bottom?" Yes. Well, then it's the bank's error and I'll redeposit the check and get the penalty reversed.

And that's what I did. Sadly, there will likely be more penalties added that I'll have to fight from any checks he wrote that might have bounced because their own err... OK, incompetency. If bank personnel can't recognize they are accepting incompletely written instruments, they shouldn't be working in a bank. Just one more reason why I am sick of banks' incompetence, arrogance, and greed. (In a few weeks I'll be writing more about my fights with banks and other companies.)



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Virginia Woolfe wrote that in order to write a woman needs a room of her own, a sanctuary where she can think, imagine and write down her thoughts without interruption. That's all I've been asking for... a clean, empty room with a bathroom (sink, shower, toilet) in which I can install a cot, a chair, a desk, a bar fridge, a microwave, some boxes of food, files, etc. The rest of my stuff can stay in storage.

But nobody in Erie or Millcreek wants to rent a room to me. I don't know why. I've placed and answered ads on Craigslist, checked the Erie paper and looked at some apartments that were dumps. Most were not "ready" to be occupied. Why advertise that you have a place for rent when it's being used for storage or under renovation? I do home staging so I'm expecting to see a nice place that looks liveable. One guy said he was going to rent a townhouse and I could rent a room from him, but before he met me he got belligerent when I asked him to tell me a bit about himself. A simple question that didn't deserve a nasty response. When I've replied to Room-for-Rent ads, I get no response even though I list all the benefits of having me as a tenant. I don't get it.

I went to the Erie Housing Authority because I was told that homeless people get pushed to the top of the waiting list. Not true. I filled out an application that was a dozen pages long, and when I said I get a little pension from Canada, the clerk asked me what the name of the pension was. I said Canada Pension. She asked me to spell it. I said C-A-N-A-D-A, like the country. She asked me the name of the Plan. I said: Canada Pension Plan. She asked, "What's the name of the company?" I answered, "I't's not a company, it's a country. Canada. When we were finished she said, we will let you know in 6-8 weeks if you're eligible. Eligible? You haven't even told me what you do here and how you can help me! Then she said, get back to me with the name of the pension you receive. OY. That was a huge waste of time. If she can't grasp that the Government of Canada provides "old age" pension, I don't have a chance in hell of being eligible for subsidized housing.

Over the years I've offered bedrooms to strangers free of charge. I even offered a neighbor couple two free bedrooms for a year (with their dog, cat and reptile). But doesn't anyone offer me a room that I'm willing to pay for? No. Very disappointing. I've come to the conclusion that Erie just doesn't want me here. OK Erie, I get the message. Loud and clear.

Because of the rain I have to walk through mud to get anything out of my van or get into it. I have no privacy when changing clothes, using the toilet, eating, or putting on makeup. There is always someone close by. Voices carry from the time I wake up to the time I crawl into my cot. Cigarette smoke is wafting into my site. Everything I own is damp: clothes, towel, cat, papers, shoes. And the dampness aggravates my arthritis so I hurt all over, all the time.

A room of one's own... I wish.



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In the past few months I've received a number of inquiries from women and men who have been swindled out of hundreds of thousands of dollars of assets - individually, not collectively! My heart goes out to them, as some are my age and older. What it means to me is that I haven't done enough to promote my little asset-saving booklet, OutSmarting Sweetheart Swindlers. If these loving, generous people - generous to a fault - had only invested $12 and read my booklet, they might not need to be retaining me - but sometimes more expensive law firms, rather than me - to help them recover what is rightfully theirs.

While I love to sink my teeth into the retrieval/recovery side of it - I could say my initials AR stand for Asset Recovery - I also want to help people avoid the loss to unscrupulous types. So, buy the booklet in quantity already, and I'll send copies to the people in your life who are or who may become potential victims of swindlers. This booklet is appropriate for men and women, aged 18 to 98.

Be proactive! Spend $12 now and avoid losing $12,000 to a million in the future.


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Some of the chapter titles of The Kindness Experiment will be (or something close):

• Don't rain on people's parades.
• Be curious, not furious.
• Eco-friendly doesn't mean green with envy.
• Gossip: When is it your business?
• Just because it sounds too good to be true, doesn't mean it isn't true.

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The camp's electric transformer blew with a bang last night about 5:30 PM. No doubt the 90 degree heat precipitated turning on air conditioners which put a load on the system.

It took an hour for the Penelec trucks to show up, and another few hours to get a bigger transformer to handle the load of the full campground. Those who planned on cooking dinner got out their outdoor grills - I forgot to get my propane burners in storage yesterday - so the cooking smells surrounding me were wonderful. I had just stocked my tiny fridge with 4 frozen Stouffer dinners - and decided not to open the fridge to keep things chilled for as long as possible... not knowing how long the power outage would be. So I had a bluebery muffin, a bottle of warm flavored water, and some potato chips for dinner. Fortunately I had eaten a good sized Stouffer's frozen dinner ($.29 with a coupon) at 3 PM because it wouldn't fit in the tiny freezer, so I wasn't so hungry. (I hadn't eaten anything more than a granola bar and an instant coffee since 8 AM so that was breakfast and lunch.)

I decided not to use my power box - except to recharge my cell phone - to save power for the fan in the van at night. I also didn't turn on my laptop which was fully charged, because I didn't want to run down the battery. So I took a walk to the office/store to mail a letter. I didn't take my laptop to retrieve email because I thought the office would be without power too. But it wasn't. To my chagrin. But I didn't want to lug it back up the hill a second time in the evening. I was hot and dehydrated. It had been 90 degrees all day.

But the power returned at 9:15, just as the light was fading. A cheer went up across the grounds. However, the water in the bath houses was just a trickle and the smell was not pleasant. Because pumps are needed for water and sewage, and pumps are run by electricity, there was some sewage backup. I decided to forego the line at the public facilities in favor of my own commode on board and baby wipes to give myself a "sponge bath".

I thought I might leave Casper in his pen since it was so hot, but when I heard the thunder, I decided to bring him into the van. Not a moment too soon. It poured for a few minutes, hitting the metal roof of the van quite loudly. Once I had him inside I turned on the van and it was a nice cool evening. It occured to me that wetting the van down with the hose at night might be a quick way to cool the van down for sleeping at night.

PS Did you notice I changed the color of this web site? Now it matches my van color.

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But it hasn't started off well. Casper was a royal pain all night. He meowed all night and struggled to get out of the van by tearing at the interior insulation near the side doors. He's had a taste of the wild - or at least outside - and didn't want to be confined inside my tiny van while there are new frontiers to be explored. He kept me awake for hours and I had to get up multiple times to either make him stop or clean up his messes. He knocked over his water dish, soaking part of the carpet, he kept jumping from the front passenger seat past the metal barricade down to the doorwell behind him. I thought he was going to break a leg. Other times he would just stand on me, chest or back, didn't matter. He thinks he's the boss.

Then he had another bout of diarrhea. I found the flashlight, scoop, and plastic bags to clean up the stinky mess, then I dropped the flashlight right in the poop. Aw, geez. Of course I had to pick up the flashlight so I could see to find the paper towels to clean off the flashlight... and my hand. Mess finally cleaned up, I then had to deal with the strong smell. Of course, it then started to rain so I had to close the windows. I did leave them open an inch and turned on the fan... and tried to get some sleep. I managed to get a little sleep between 5:30 and 7:30.

Casper has escaped his pen twice now this morning, even though I gave him some of his canned food. He's being very naughty. I'll have to cage him so I can go take a shower and wash my hair. I have to look presentable because we have a vet appointment and I need to get some groceries. I try not to look like a homeless person when I'm in public.

I'm thankful that even though it is humid, it's an overcast day which means a few cool morning hours. (It's 9:30 now.) It's supposed to be in the high 80's again and sticky. Mosquitos will be biting. DEET isn't an option because I touch Casper and he could lick it off his coat and get sick. It's always about Casper... even when I'm sick or on my birthday. I don't like Casper today.


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It's nearly 11 AM and I'm still in my sleeping dress. (It was a cotton summer dress which I now use to sleep in.) But I'm getting things done. I made a vet appointment to have Casper's stitches removed tomorrow along with blood tests to find out why the diarrhea has returned while he's still on antibiotics.

I wrote an email to a lady who has a townhouse in Pittsburgh (3 hours south of Erie) who inquired by phone about having me housesit in her absence. No concrete invitation yet, and in my experience, nearly everything falls through at the last minute... including the iPod I won in a contest sponsored by Dove. (I'm ineligible because even though my legal status is that of a permanent Canadian resident, I'm homeless and don't have a proper residence. So much for Dove's advertising about raising the self-esteem of women and girls! I'm a woman and I buy Dove products. Hmmmm.)

Today my task is to see if I can figure out how to install the digital converter and antenna to my 13" TV to see if I can get any reception. It's probably not difficult with the instructions in front of me, but previously I was too overwhelmed to focus on it and gave up in frustration. I'd love to be able to watch TV again and know what's going on in the world. PS I did it!


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Happy Bastille Day. I remember it every year because I broke my neck on July 12 many years ago in Oxford England (walking up a flight of stairs.)

I've been getting things done I haven't had time to do for more than a year. I'm nearly through with putting the lettering on the second side of my van and I'm feeling very proud of myself.

Almost done...............................................................Done.

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I was thinking that I would be a little happier if I had access to:

- Unlimited Wifi or Internet so I could get more work done each day.
- A private toilet that I don't have to walk a block to use, share with others or empty myself.
- A shower that I don't have to drive to or push a button every ten seconds to get enough water.
- Air to breathe that is without cigarette smoke from others.
- Air conditioning so I don't feel sweaty and sticky 24 hours a day.
- A bigger bed than a camping cot so I can turn over more easily.
- A way to keep food cold so it doesn't spoil before I can eat it.

A long-term, paid housesitting situation would be perfect.


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Here are some I received:

Where do you sleep? In my van on a camping cot on which I've placed two sleeping bags for softness.

How do you stay cool in the heat? I try to stay in shade and I have a small fan in my van that is powered by my power box at night.

How do you see in the dark in your van? I expose two solar garden lights to the sun during the day, and by dark they light up the van for several hours. I also have a few small flashlights, a citronella candle, the emergency light on my power box and the light from my laptop.



Where do you shower? The campground has a few showers which are push-button. They stay on just long enough to get wet, then you have to push it again and again as needed. One shower is just across the road from me; In the dark I just follow the light. I also belong to a fitness club where I can shower daily. And I have a solar shower which holds 5 gallons of cold water which warms in the sun... but no place to actually use it as a shower. It does make a good hand/dish washer. I use a lot of baby wipes to keep hands and face clean throughout the day. I even use them on my feet.

Why did you put your web address on your van? Isn't that dangerous? I want people to know that I am skilled, that I am writing a book, and that I can be contacted. The more people who know about me, and the more interest I can create (BUZZ), the more books I can sell, the more likely I'll be able to generate income-generating projects. So far it hasn't been a hindrance nor has it attracted any danger. I'm guessing that the word "kindness" may be encouraging kindness. In time I hope the van lettering will arouse curiosity and start conversations.

What do you do all day? Believe it or not, keeping clean is almost a full-time job. The van is so tiny that I have to keep organizing it to be able to move around or change clothes. Having the cat underfoot inside slows me down. He tends to want to be where I intend to step next. Washing dishes means carrying them the distance of a short block to a cold water sink. Keeping the cat's box cleaned and water replenished keeps me busy, and I'm always recharging something: power box, laptop, phone, camera. I'm always shifting the solar lights and solar shower bag. It's always something. I have 26 items on my To-Do List today.

And because I have nobody to talk to, I write this blog. It's good therapy and acts as a journal of my daily activities and thoughts. Next I'll be writing many letters to companies who want me to pay them more money they don't need or deserve, and why it's a good idea to be kinder to me. I'll also be writing letters to people and companies who never paid me for work I did, or who should give me a refund for services I paid for that were done badly and cost me more money to fix their incompetence. The more money I can collect, the more I can pay people I owe, and the sooner I can be not-homeless.


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My request of you:

Thanks for praying for me but don't just pray for me. HIRE ME to speak, write, consult, brainstorm, or solve a crisis. Buy my books. I do good work. Recommend me to others. Invite me to housesit in your absence.

Don't judge me by my financial status. I arrived in this state by being a good citizen, exhibiting courage and bravery, having integrity, and doing the right thing. Despite what you might think, I don't drink, don't use drugs, don't gamble, don't smoke, don't buy extravagant clothes, or have any other addiction. Are you surprised by that?

It's not only futile to ask me to work for free or ask me to send you money... it's insulting.

This is a temporary situation. So if you treat me with contempt, avoidance, rejection, exclusion now, don't expect me to be kind and generous to you when my life is going well again and you need my support. Karma is a boomerang.

Don't break promises you make to me. When you do it not only hurts my spirit, but makes you look like a person who lacks integrity or good character.

Don't treat me like a second class citizen. In this country we are all created equal.

Homelessness and poverty are not contagious. I don't have cooties. Knowing me or being in my presence will not cause you to lose your job, your home or your family. Whoever told you differently must have been practicing voodoo.

Please don't suggest I take a minimum wage job. It's not that I think I'm above doing physical labor - I don't. After all I ran a bed and breakfast which was simply a glorified cleaning job - but now with the heat and my arthritis pain I don't think I can do cleaning jobs any more. Besides where will I put Casper? I can't take him with me to the job site. I'd prefer to do what I do best: write, publish, teach and speak. It's work I love and it pays better.

I'm not looking for a job, I'm rebuilding my advice empire. (The next book is about building an empire from/with nothing.) You didn't think I was without a plan, did you?

Pay me competitive rates. When you think you can get away with offering me minimum wage for work I used to do at much higher rates - public relations, marketing, consulting, etc. - you not only insult me, but you appear to be someone who exploits others. I avoid exploiters.

Please don't tell me to keep my homelessness a secret. The premise of the book I'm writing is to show how people treat me when they KNOW I'm temporarily homeless. If I hide the truth, I have no book material. And the book is my primary occupation right now. It sets the foundation for all my future work as a Kindness Crusader-Activist.

Please don't suggest I put my cat down because he is an inconvenience in my life. He's 14 and I intend to let him live until he is diagnosed with a terminal or incurably painful disease. Only when it is to alleviate his suffering will I consider euthanasia.

Remember The Golden Rule: Treat others as you would have them treat YOU.


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I got up this morning at 7 AM (after waking earlier at dawn/5:20) and drove to my fitness club to shower and dress. Then made it downtown for an 8:30 appointment to meet a counselor. I put 4 quarters in the meter and put on Casper's harness and leash. We walked into the building, Casper in my arms at all times, with a woman my age who understood why I didn't want to leave Casper in the car, claiming that to do so would be criminal. (Amen, sister). I announced myself and was told that Casper wouldn't be allowed to stay because some people may have allergies. (No one in the waiting room did.) I was told that my counselor had allergies.

Had roles been reversed, I would have sneaked the cat into my office, put up with a runny nose for 45 minutes and got paid for seeing my client who, by the way, showed up early on a Monday morning. But that's just me. I make an effort and put up with a little short-term inconvenience for the greater good.

So Casper and I saved our co-payment, and I ran some errands. The morning was cool and overcast and I risked leaving him in the car with the windows open for only brief spurts. I picked up mail, answered email from the van, bought some drinking water and sodas, got some camping equipment out of storage, and paid for my next month's storage fee a few days early. Got back to the campground at 11:00 just in time to avoid a light rain shower.

For lunch I had a microwaved Lean Cuisine meal, a small cherry yogurt, and two small blueberry rolls. My job this afternoon is to set up my screened gazebo. It has many holes in the black screen that I patched with tiny bits of black duct tape. If I get that done, and have any energy left I'll clean one side of my van and apply more lettering: The Kindness Experiment and my web site address.

It's muggy, but not hot right now. It's also quiet. A lot of the campers must have gone home for the week, to return on the weekend. Quite a few are from Pittsburgh. Many are from Florida, presumably attempting to escape the heat. Maybe I'll take a nap first. I should have kept my hammock.


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I've had to turn down a number of social invitations this week: lunch, church, picnic, and even a sweat lodge. Why? Because I can't leave Casper in a hot van. People know I'm living in my van with a cat... but either don't realize the consequences of my leaving the cat in the van, or think it's OK to leave my cat in the van in the hot sun. I keep saying there is little to no shaded parking in Erie. That means in about 5-10 minutes the internal temperature becomes 105-120 degrees very quickly. This cargo van is just one layer of steel which makes a great heat conductor from the sun... and a baby/pet killer in summer.

Not only that but Casper needs eye ointment several times a day after his recent eye surgery, and he still has uncontrolled diarrhea.The antibiotic stops the problem, but I can't keep him on it forever. He's on his second treatment. If I stop the meds, the problem reappears. Now keep in mind, it is hot out, and diarrhea stinks. And draws ants and flies within minutes. I need to be ready to clean up right away. If I'm not there to clean up, the situation can become very unpleasant for Casper who is now confined outside, but in a small space.

Let me explain about the small space. I had a dog fence which gave Casper some room to enjoy lying on the grass under a canopy. I made the mistake of placing a piece of carpet on top of one of the wire cages so he would be in shade while I did a quick walk up to the office and back. When I returned he was nowhere to be found. He'd used the carpet as a springboard to freedom. I looked, but didn't see him for a good 30 minutes. He showed up with leaves all over him and caught in his whiskers. He was coming from the road, which he'd undoubtedly crossed and had been lying under someone's "fifth wheel".

So now I have taken away some of his wide open spaces, and he is now confined in the two wire crates which I have opened into each other. He has enough room for his water bowl, food dish and a small litter box plus enough room to lie down comfortably. But because the earth moves - not the sun - the shade isn't constant and I have to keep moving his extended cage. So you can understand leaving him alone for any more than 10 minutes is a bad idea.

Now all this may not seem like a lot to handle to you. But remember, I'm now in my 60's and don't have the stamina, energy or physical strength to do what I could do as a 30-year-old. This heat and humidity are tough on someone my age and even those younger than I.

Now some have told me: why don't you just give him to a shelter for adoption, or why don't you just have him put down? Well, if one of your children were an inconvenience would you put him/her up for adoption or have him or her put to death? I think not. So don't even hint at either one. Casper has been my child for 14 years. Only when he is too sick to continue living will I consider euthanasia. But thanks for asking.


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I've decided it's too dangerous (and hot and humid) to sleep in parking lots at night. And it's too expensive to stay in hotels. Erie is a tourism town and the rates are much higher now than they were 3 months ago. I found a campground that is not far away and will stay there until end of July and possibly longer if there is room for me there in August. It has water and electricity, a picnic table, and a tree to park under for shade. And nearby is a bath house for toilet and shower. I'll be able to leave one of the van's doors open at night without worry that I might be accosted by a stranger... or worse.



I'll take a photo when I can, but I won't have Wifi at my site. I can walk to the office (uphill) and upload posts and download email twice a day. I can also be reached by cell phone: 814-431-9278. (I don't answer when I'm driving.) Please keep calls short as I pay for each minute. (TracFone minutes make a nice gift and my birthday is in a week: July 16.)

I think it may be a good place to get some work done... and make some money. Wouldn't that be nice? I'm also going to clean off the van and apply more lettering to the sides of the van. Maybe people will actually see that my mission is KINDNESS and treat me a little better.

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There. I've said it.

But before you close your browser in disgust, hear me out.

My homelessness is not due to gambling or alcohol, drug abuse, hanging with the wrong crowd, an abusive companion, or even from reckless spending. I haven't committed any crime. In fact, I'm in this predicament because I fought crime by helping police and stood up to bullies and injustice. I wonder: would you have had the courage to do what I did and live with the consequences? I'm still enduring the sting of hatred for doing the right thing and hope some day, through my book, I will be vindicated.

It could start with you. A little understanding, your kindness, and if you're so inclined... buy a book or hire me to write or edit or proofread for you... work I'm skilled at.

But please, don't ask me to work for free, do free work for "promotional value" (What IS that, anyway?), do free work for a testimonial, or for a percentage of your income. That would be adding insult to injury, and after the 500th such request, I don't bother answering any more.

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