I was stunned by what I found. The heater had been recalled by the manufacturer (Holmes) 2 years before it was sold to me because of its potential as a fire hazard! You can see the recall notice on the HolmesProducts.com web site. I wrote to the man who sold it to me and asked if he would consider refunding my $15. Before I sent him an email I decided if he apologized and offered to return the $15 I would accept the apology and let him keep the $15. It was just a test. (You already know that I've been testing people for the past 13 years, and in a conversation with the man and his pregnant girlfriend when I bought two items from them I told them about my book project.)

It was a test, because, you see, posted on their site, Holmes has offered to provide a brand new heater if owners send in the cord from the recalled appliance. I registered and sent it in. The other consideration: the man already has 8 or 9 kids and the most recent is either about to be born or was born recently and I'd prefer that the $15 feed his kids.

I pretty much expected his response would be no, and he said he would have replaced the heater if I'd contacted him within a week of purchase. Fair enough, but his tone was dismissive. Not necessary. I replied saying that the reason I didn't try the heater is because I trusted his integrity and honesty. No personal attacks; I talked about myself and said what I would do in his shoes so that my customer would feel secure in buying more from me in the future. I told him I'd be putting the story in my book. It wasn't meant to be a threat, only a heads-up so he could read the rest of the story later. (An example of one of my other tests can be found here (2005).

In response he sent me two more emails - maybe he wanted me to put them in the book too. One said "As for selling to you in the future, you would have a better chance of getting a glass of ice water on the sun, than me selling or giving you anything." Isn't that a bit self-defeating? His second email said: "I've talked to quite a few people and they all agreed with me, that what you are asking is beyond ludicris, more basically put, 'you are off your rocker...'"

So now he's badmouthing me to people where my intention was to keep our communication private so as not to tarnish his reputation in public. And he's attacking me personally, making assertions about my mental condition. How sad. He's fighting dirty when there's no need to do so. And did you notice the rapper reference? I suppose he means ludicrous (laughable).

All this took place on December 23. Today, December 30, he posted a request for someone to help him organize and clean out his basement. I've been to his home and have a pretty good idea how much this is needed, especially with a newborn infant in the house. Had he been a little kind to me, I might have offered to do the organizing work at no charge. I offer this service as one of my Handy Ande services. And I just wrapped up a 7 month contest in which I hoped to award two hours of free services each week to anyone in the county who sent me their wish lists. Nobody entered. With a whole lot of promotion I finally got 3 people to enter this past week and on Dec. 27 I awarded each of them an hour of services. (They will each get 2 hours of my time.) I plan to do the work by the end of January. (Funny how it took a lot of effort on my part to give away something of value for free.)

The more things like this heater purchase happen, the more I see that I need to write and publish this book, The Kindness Test. Not to make anyone look bad - I don't identify names although the individual may recognize him- or herself - but to illustrate that there are better, more harmonious ways to do business.

The other item I had bought from "heater man" was an adult potty for $10. I intended it for use in my van, but it takes up too much room and I'm selling it again, unused and fully scrubbed and disinfected. When I bought it it was crusted with urine and fecal matter. Not now.

Holmes Products has generosity of spirit. I didn't have to ask for a refund; it was offered freely. It's no wonder I have several Holmes air purifiers and humidifiers in my home. They stand behind what they sell. So you can see: it's all a matter of putting yourself in the other person's shoes. I'll receive a new heater anyway; but the man who didn't trust me lost out on free services I provide.

Andrea

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