Andrea Reynolds' Crisis Clinic and Advocacy

ANTIDOTES TO YOUR EMERGENCY. My intention is to act in your best interests when you're experiencing mind-numbing stress and anxiety. I am your crisis investigator, your personal advisor, or your advocate when you've been mistreated or exploited. You'll feel energized, supported, with an arsenal of specific steps to take.

Andrea Reynolds

- Advocate for Mistreated
- Investigative Journalist
- Crisis Consultant
- Impact Statement Writer
- Ombudsman/ Mediator
- Public Speaker
- Seminar Leader
- Kindness Crusader
- Crisis Columnist

3 MORE USEFUL WEB SITES:

Be a Concierge: Handy Ande Network

Make More Money: Andrea Reynolds

Get Paid to Speak: Commission-Free Speakers

E-BOOKS TO ORDER:

No Surprises! : 365 Critical Questions You Need to Ask Each Other Before You Marry

Let's Do Something Besides Dinner and a Movie

OutSmarting Sweetheart Swindlers

Jump Start Your Creative Genius

Cheap Thrills: 65 Low-Cost, No-Cost Romantic Ideas.

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How do I apologize?

Editor: If you want to publish this column for a test run, I will flesh out the following short version to 650 words first. Copyright Andrea Reynolds. All rights reserved. Please do not distribute or publish this column without the author's written permission and without financial compensation. See a second sample column (getting off welfare)

Dear Andrea,
What can I do to show my beloved that I am truly sorry about the inconsiderate way I behaved? "Sorry Now"

Dear Sorry,
Actions speak louder than words, so if your words aren't being accepted right now, your behavior may not be in synch with those words. Try these:

1. Be sure your nonverbal behavior and tone of voice convey the same message. The words, "I'm sorry" are not enough... especially if said without sincerity.

2. When you say you're sorry, be sure you mean "I regret I did you wrong" or "I regret hurting you," NOT "I regret getting caught."

3. Look your partner in the eye when you apologize. To avoid eye contact says you don't really mean it.

4. Acknowledge your partner's feelings of hurt and betrayal. Don't be afraid to admit you're wrong.

5. Be sure you never, ever repeat the offending behavior again. Ever.

6. Offer to pay a penalty ($1,000) if you ever slip up again. Write the check.

7. Volunteer to go to counseling alone. Be sure you attend for the long term.

8. Put your apology in writing: a letter, a song, a poem, a story, a personal ad.

9. Don't expect instant forgiveness. It will take time to earn your loved one's trust.

10. Don't go overboard in your attempts to get her attention. Your efforts could begin to appear as harassment. Then no apology will work.

11. Don't get angry, hostile, or belligerent, no matter how long it takes to be forgiven.

12. If forgiveness doesn't come....move on. Never forget the lesson you've gained from experience. (This assumes you are not married.)

Andrea
Readers, how would you solve this challenge: How do I stop feeling so invisible at work and in social situations? crisiswriter@gmail.com

Andrea Reynolds is the author of No Surprises: 365 Critical Questions You Need to Ask Each Other Before You Marry. Send your questions C/O (this newspaper) to Andrea Reynolds, Visit her web site: www.CrisisBrainstorm.com

Some related booklets
No Surprises! 365 Critical Questions You Need to Ask Each Other Before You Marry ... and how to ask them
Jump Start Your Creative Genius and generate more ideas, answers, and solutions
Let's Do Something ...besides Dinner and a Movie Dating Activity Handbook
Romantic & Playful Toronto: 750 Things to Do... picks up where guidebooks leave off
Cheap Thrills: 65 No Cost, Low Cost Romantic Ideas for Valentine's Day